Food as a language of love + Telegraph Feature with Tuppence
In seduction of oneself and others
Welcome to my collection of treasured recipes & stories to inspire you with sunshine in your heart and on your plate. Today’s letter is bumper packed with some of my erratic/meaningful thoughts, seduction tactics and more. FRom now on I’ll be sharing letters and recipes separately so I can rant/write more of my thoughts as letters and you can get to the recipes quicker. Let me know what you think! Subscribe to receive my letters for free or become a member for the full experience.
Hello from my new kitchen in London!
This isn’t a photo for my new column in The Telegraph or for my bouillon/stock cube advert! It’s of a heartwarming feature of healing soups. The photo is the first feature in my new home and kitchen, what a lovely way to start the new year.
I’ve been writing this particular letter since the new year, so forgive me if I’m struggling to move on from saying “Happy new year!” Who cares if we are already almost two months into 2025? January felt like 6 months in one, however, a few things like this happened to kick my butt and help to jumpstart my year with fabulous excitement. But first…
When you think of ‘the love of your life’ who comes to mind? Your lover, your friend, yourself? I have some strong thoughts and I would like to know yours!
A Londoner once again!
I have moved back to London and exhausted from navigating the mountain of boxes in my new home, plus that January slump. Having lived in Sussex for 9 years, I never imagined I would ever move back to London, not to mention being happy about it. Now on a quiet street tucked away from the hustle and bustle of the city yet close enough to reach it if I want to, and 15 minutes from glorious Hampstead Heath, I couldn’t have picked a better endroit.
Foods as a love language
Christmas was wonderful and relaxed as I was spoilt rotten at my friends’ Ana & Paul’s home in Tunbridge Wells. Tuppence (my poodle +cocker spaniel cross 6 years old dog) enjoyed being spoiled even more so by us all. What a lucky doggie! He had the beauty of the countryside at his feet, as he’s been used to all his life. When I say I did not cook anything at Christmas, believe me. My friend’s did not let me chop a single onion or fry a single egg. I did carve the turkey, my annual favourite from Kelly Bronze, one of which we gave away as part of our Christmas Giveaway!
Always the host and never the guest, I enjoyed every second of it, from the knock on the door with the announcement, “food is ready”, to my friends turning on the Christmas edition of Death in paradise simply because they know how much I love the show. This is love! When friends go out of their way to nurture you and make you happy, that is love! As food lovers themselves, they fed me the very best food, with great attention to produce, picked and chose wonderful restaurants and cafés for us to try out. They truly knew that my love language was food, and they showered me with lots of it. I cannot remember a time someone else has gone to such effort to make me happy through food. Food is my love language!
Spoiling me also enabled me to face a problem that may surprise you. I adore food, in fact if you’ve ever heard me talk about food you’d see and feel it. I love teaching my cookery masterclasses and I love hosting supper clubs, brunches and all sorts just so I can feed people. I love hosting friends and family, just seeing you happy while eating gives me immense joy. However, I struggle to cook for myself. Does that mean I do not love myself?
To answer my question from earlier…
I am the love of my life and I treat myself accordingly, with compassion (most of the time), with affection and consideration. From the little facial massages I give myself to my long baths, the boundaries I set, the intentional plans I make to keep me happy and inspired, the tulips and gorgeous orchids I buy that delight me every time I look at them and many more things I do to show myself deep love. But I often lack the motivation to cook for myself. Almost as if I am not special enough, which is contrary to how I feel about myself.
Do you enjoy or struggle to cook for yourself?
And so with a mirror held up to my face and the conversations about love especially at this time of the year, I realised that I had to work on proving this love to myself. Love is not about words but action! But how was I to do this? By seducing myself into cooking for myself!
The power of food in the art of seduction
A friend and a multi-hyphenated genius of a woman I admire inspired me. This is someone I met barely 6 months ago on an epic trip in Morocco, as she was a guest on my cookery retreat. Having hosted her for a whole week at my retreat, I know that being nurtured with great food is important to her and quite possibly also one of her love languages. And so after we caught up shopping and savouring a fabulous Afternoon tea at The Langham in London, I invited her for one more day of feasting, this time at my home. As you can see in my text below.
Her text and voice note responses were of ecstatic enthusiasm, a “visceral reaction” and she described and an intense seduction! This was hilarious, but also telling. What I thought was a simple text felt like much more to her, and in turn unlocking this disconnect I had been suffering. Without intending to seduce or illicit any intense emotion, my passion for food and desire to nurture someone else moved them so deeply that I realised, I want to feel that! I want to feel what I made her feel. And I have the power to do so.
I haven’t always been this way, some changes in life shift one’s desires, and I just needed a nudge to fall in love with cooking for myself once again. This electrifying nudge did the trick. I need to communicate with myself like I do with others. If only you listened to her voice note, you’d be absolutely tickled! Prepare to be seduced! Haha!
Tuppence & I in The Telegraph
Think back to some of the best conversations you’ve ever had, they probably happened over a plate of good food. In this case, it was a bowl of soup!
So, when food writer extraordinaire
asked to interview me at home for The Telegraph to discuss my Pumpkin Pepper Soup, a modern twist on my mother’s Nigerian Pepper Soup, brimming with the enchanting flavours and cherished memories of home, I was deeply humbled and excited to say yes.Soup cooked, photos taken in my new London kitchen, and even my dog Tuppence couldn’t resist stealing the spotlight (as always). We shared stories about the healing power of soup and how my mum’s aromatic elixir continues to be the ultimate hug in a bowl.
This experience reminded me of a question I’ve been asked countless times: “Why do you keep banging on about African food?”
The answer is simple, obvious, and necessary. I do so that we are not erased from the narrative of life. I do it for moments like this: when the food we eat and the stories that shape us are celebrated on a global stage. I do it so that the vibrant, varied foods from across the African continent are counted, honoured, and enjoyed by as many as possible. Food is a powerful tool which I have the privilege to share from my cookbook, radio, television, newspapers and magazines, bringing our stories to the homes and hearts of cooks everywhere. After all, to know a person is to know their food.
I am ever so thrilled that my boy Tuppence was featured too. I love him dearly and this image is made more complete with him in it, as he is always by my side, and could not help but insert himself into the photo.
Check out the lovely feature here I have sent this as a gift to you since I am a subscriber to the paper, otherwise the article is behind the newspaper’s premium paywall. Feel free to pass on the links far and wide. I’ll drop the recipes for my Nigerian & Moroccan Version of Pepper soup in your inbox, and if you can’t wait, find it in your copy of Africana Cookbook.
Missed this letter? Catch up here! Plus my recipe for Berbere Spice Blend.
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